I grant to you this gift

To the sweet person who lit my dumpster on fire...I give you the gift of reading.  It's time to find a new hobby.
To the Mountain Dew people...I give you a hug on Monday mornings.
To Monday...I give you this advice.  No one likes you. 
To the lady who asked me if it hurts when people talk to me about being a mother...I give you the gift of a lemon.  Squeeze the juice and then pour it into a paper cut.  Then we'll talk.  There.  I said it.
To the person that I admire the most...I give you a weekend of not worrying.  I have it under control.
To my kitties...I give you..EVERYTHING.  Stop begging, we all know that I'll give it to you anyhow.
To that certain person who gets on my last nerve...I give you the gift of growing up.  You're an adult.  Act like one.
To the Girl Scouts...I give you the gift of Diabetes.  I blame it on the summer of the Samoas at Trefoil.
To Adele... I give you the gift of being my new best friend.
To the Academy...Thanks for finally giving Christian Bale what he deserves.  I give you the gift of me changing the channel when he's done.
To Christian Bale...I give you the gift of staying in our guest room and watching Batman with us whenever you would like.
To my blog readers...I obviously have given you the gift of extreme sarcasm and hopefully laughter.  Have a lovely day.
Love Katie