If I'm being completely honest...

For those of you that really know me...and I mean really, you know why I'm sad.  You know why I've been sad for two months.  You know that somedays are unbearable.  Today is one of those days.  My little heart aches today because I miss her so much.  I haven't seen her for two months.  Two.  A blink of an eye really in the eternities.  But still.  I can't breathe.  I can't go to sleep.  If I go to sleep, I'll dream about her and we can't have that, because then, I'm useless and I don't have time to be useless.  I have things to do.  Yet, if I don't sleep, I have to drink massive amounts of Mountain Dew to stay awake and function normally.  What a twisted little cycle it is.  I suppose that tomorrow I'll start all over again.  Trying to make it.  Trying to function.  Trying to acheive something, anything.  I have to.  I will immerse myself in Primary.  I will cook dinner.  I will do it.  I will wake up and the sun will be shining.  It has to.  I will take it one day at a time.  I will snuggle my kittens and appreciate and hug my husband.  I will take joy in my Primary kids.  I will do it.  If not for me, for her.