Today, a mother in our ward passed away leaving behind four children and no father.
I have a couple of friends who are fighting some hard battles right now.
All around me, I see hurt. And pain. And fear. And turmoil. And tears.
And the worst part?
I can't fix it.
I am a fixer.
Whatever it is. I fix it.
I bake it, I hug it, I love it, I gift it, I visit it, I bring it dinner, I babysit it, I clean it, I give it rides...
I do everything in MY POWER to fix it and make it better.
I can't fix this.
I can't undo it.
I can't even make it remotely more pleasant and easy.
I have cried all day.
I've been angry all day.
Angry at how unfair the world is.
Angry that good people are suffering and crying for help.
Angry that bad things happen to good people.
Angry that choices of others are affecting these people.
Crying for four children who are without a family.
Crying for their loss, for their fear, for their instability.
I've found myself racking my brain to the point that I have a headache trying to fix it.
Trying to fix their loss, trying to fix the trials and struggles of my friends.
And I can't.
I.
Feel.
Powerless.
Everyday, I see a struggling world, trying to make it through another day, trying to put on a cheerful face, trying to just try.
I find myself looking around, looking side to side, looking down...and seeing the same stupid things.
Sadness, hurt, loneliness, pain, frustration, hopelessness, and so much more.
I recalled a quote by President Thomas S. Monson that hit the spot today.
"Remember, it is better to look up."
And it hit me.
I'm looking the wrong way.
I can't fix it, but I know Someone who can.
Our Heavenly Father CAN fix it. Sometimes, He chooses not to.
Sometimes, He lets the storm rage...but He will always comfort His child if we just ask.
I am grateful for my Father in Heaven and for His wisdom and His grace and His love.
So, to end...I'll leave you with this.
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