I LOVE THIS BOY!

For anyone that cares, it has been dang near 10 years since Tim took me on the best picnic of my entire life.  I know that a picnic doesn't sound THAT exciting, but it was.  It was the day he proposed.  On that sunny afternoon, at that beautiful picnic spot, with the love of my life, I was sure that I could not love him any more than I already did and that it was impossible for me to be any happier than I was at that moment.  Now, for those of you that know me, you know that I hate admitting that I'm wrong.  But, I was wrong.  SOOOOOO wrong.  I love him more today than I ever thought I could and he makes me happy every single day.  I do believe that I am the luckiest girl in the world and thank my Heavenly Father every day for my best friend and Scrabble nemesis, Tim.  (and...I haven't even lost my engagement ring once!-knock on wood...)

For My Sake...

I am pathetic.  For the most part, I have spent my winter in a depressed 'funk', if you will.  I have spent months moping around and feeling like I am just not good enough.  So, today...there was a very cleverly placed on my side of the bed Ensign article.  For those of you that are not a member of my faith, the Ensign is a monthly publication-magazine- with tidbits of information, instruction, information and advice.  It has stories and anecdotes and direct teachings from our living prophets.  You may want to check it out at http://www.lds.org/.  I have avoided the Ensign lately, because I just feel like I'm not good enough even though deep down inside I know that's not true. This article got me back on track.  So, Ensign editiors....Thank you.  I cannot thank you enough.  Here's the link-you should read it. http://lds.org/ensign/2011/04/faith-and-infertility?lang=eng

Also, kind of on the same topic, is Thursday. Thursday = Grey's Anatomy.  This time...with music.  It was beautiful and haunting and strangely Glee-like.  There are just some things that cannot be expressed any other way.  Anyhow, my favorite character, the one I most relate to, Meredith, is in an elevator with her gorgeous genius brain surgeon husband as one of their friends and coworkers lays upstairs in ICU fighting for her life-and her unborn child's.  Meredith expresses that at the baby shower the day before, she was jealous.  And now she feels terrible.  She asks her husband why the universe would give Callie a baby and not her and then put Callie through a windshield.  "Why is the universe so unfair and so screwed up and so mean?"
I AGREE.  I once heard that when you have a trial that tests you once, it's helping you increase your faith.  When you have a trial that is a recurring thing, it's perfecting your faith.  Alright then.  I will have perfected faith, darn it.  So here we go.  It's on.