My Letter to the Fashion Industry

Dear Fashion Industry,
Let's start with this.  I love clothes. I love shoes.  I love colors. I love jewelry.  I love makeup. I love Project Runway more than I can say.  But, in the same breath, let me tell you that I hate you.
I hate you for what you've done to me and to women all over the world.
You may be asking yourself right now, 'well, what have I done?'
You know very well what you did and what you're still doing.
Let me explain.
I am a plus sized vibrant, beautiful, colorful, fun loving, sparkly woman.  I love pink and yellow and orange.  I love pretty shoes.  I love vintage dresses.  I love anything that is sparkly. However, when I googled "plus size vintage" I found a few good websites, but more than that, I found a few really unkind ones.  Ones that told me that I should wear smaller prints and darker colors because of my size.  One that told me that 'full figured women' (silly fashion writers...we all know that means 'fat') should stick to flowing fabrics and long skirts.  We should wear neutral colors such as black, navy, gray, black, brown, white, black and maybe the right shade of taupe because they're "slimming". We shouldn't wear horizontally situated prints like the so popular right now chevron print.  Sad.
When I dug deeper and started looking for something adorable to wear to boost my self esteem a bit, I came across frumpy, tent like dresses in ugly, neutral, thrift store couch floral prints.  There seemed to be quite a few solid colored pieces as well. But nothing that I fell in love with.  The plus size dresses made me feel old, frumpy and sad...something that I am most definitely not.
And then, let's add my size 12 feet.  I see them as a gift.  If the world ever floods, I have flippers.  Take that tiny feet people. However, when it comes to size 12 shoes...let's just say that those shoes would be best used in a hospital on the feet of a cranky, old cartoon style nurse that jabs you with needles or perhaps on the sloppy joe loving lunch lady portrayed by the ever funny Chris Farley.
Do I look like a lunch lady?  I didn't think so. I really am more of a Carrie Bradshaw...in fashion...not life, mind you.
So, Fashion Industry, here it is.  I'm beginning to think that you don't know me.  That's fine, because I've decided that I don't like you.  Why? Because neutral colors aren't slimming, they're boring.  They don't hide the fat rolls, they hide my personality. Florals are for people who like to hang out in gardens and wear stinky perfume that smells like gardenias and baby powder. Not for me.  I don't like flowing fabrics and dolman sleeves.  I think they look like tents and I'm not camping. I refuse to dress like a couch or a pair of curtains. I am not a nurse or a lunch lady or an outdoor instructor.  My feet may not be delicate and lady like, but I like cute shoes too.  Sparkly ones. With high heels. And open toes.  Ha.
You have become my arch nemesis-the Joker to my Batman.  From this point on, I will hunt down every knee length, big patterned, bright colored, un-tent-like dress and I will wear them.  I will wear them with shoes that match, even if I have to buy ugly ones and spray paint them sparkly silver.  I will wear younger prints, colors and styles.  I will avoid neutral colors at all costs, unless of course, they are merely an accent piece to whatever obnoxious style I will be wearing. And, let's be honest, there's nothing you can do about it.  I don't care what you or anyone else thinks.  I am a type one and I will dress like one.  I will feel beautiful and vibrant.  I might even wear a tutu one of these days.  Ooh.  Or a pretty, pink, polka dotted vintage dress with a full skirt and crinoline underneath and sparkly shoes with bows like these stunning Kate Spades...

Yes, I could lose weight, but I shouldn't have to.  I'm pretty healthy, I'm just chubby.  And to be honest, that's none of your business.  Women should be able to wear clothes to help them feel beautiful and to reflect who they are...no matter what size they are.
Also, stop photo shopping everything...we're on to your game. Maybe you should stop focusing on skinny and start focusing on healthy and happy.  Stop making skinny, fit girls feel fat and stop making fat girls feel super fat.  It's unkind.
In closing, I think we need to end our relationship.  I'll keep Project Runway and you can keep your stupid neutral colors and ugly floral prints.
It's really not me, it's you.
Love,
A Chubby Girl Who is Too Busy Loving Herself to Listen to You.

What I Learned About Life from HGTV...

I've been watching A LOT of HGTV lately and I've discovered some things.  First, my kitchen is way too white.  It needs painted.  Second, bead board is a great way to reinforce or cover plaster walls and it looks incredibly fresh and streamlined.  Third, there seem to be two very important jobs on any remodel site- the people in charge of building and the ones in charge of demolition. Fourth, wood floors are really pretty.

So, I was picking out paint swatches tonight to decide what delicious color to paint my kitchen accent wall and  absentmindedly listening to the couple behind me argue about something.  The husband kept saying things like "I could do it myself, it would look really nice and increase the value in our home."  And then the wife would come in with "You would take your sweet time, it would never get done and it's too expensive. Stop being ridiculous." I glanced over for some reason and saw the dejected look on his face.

And it hit me.  Just like in a remodeling project, in life, there are people who build and people who demolish. 

Another example.  Just the other day, I mentioned to a cashier that I loved living near our city's baseball field.  It's such a fun thing to have close and such a great family activity for our community and aren't we lucky to have a team?  The cashier told me that it's just a farm team that's really not that good and there's too many cars parked and she'd hate to live downtown where people park all over your street.

Or...I told someone that I love love having cats.  They replied that they would hate to have cat hair everywhere and that litter boxes were really gross.

See where I'm going here?

I'll admit, as of late, it's been a real struggle for me to be positive and to be a builder.  I've spread my fair share of negativity.  But as I watched this man's face tonight, a scripture came to mind...It's in the Book of Mormon in 2nd Nephi, chapter 2, verse 25- "Adam fell that men might be, and men are, that they might have joy."  

JOY.  

There will always be people that are going to demolish.  They want you to be miserable just like they are.  They have nothing good to say about anyone or anything.  Anytime you say something positive or spread good news, they find a way to shut you down.  We all have them in our lives.  You know who they are....or who you are.  The builders are the people who compliment you, who find the bright, funny side to anything, who try to make the world a better place through their actions on a daily basis.

The spread of negativity has increased as of late due to social media.  Suddenly, it's cool to be a mean girl.  I have read some scathing comments about a person or a group of people that are completely irrelevant.  Earlier, I saw someone berate someone online because of an honest mistake that was made.  I felt so so bad.  It didn't make me smile.  It didn't make me feel like I was there to have joy.  Why do we do that?  Why do we think that it's our place to destroy people, their actions, their beliefs and their dreams?  It's NOT our job or our place.  Our job should be to help one another become like Christ...by example.  It's not our place to tell someone that their opinion is wrong or stupid or ridiculous just because we don't agree with them.  We have no right to hate someone or insult someone because they're different.  This trend needs to stop.  Now.

Everyone makes mistakes.  Everyone is different.  We all have our own thoughts and our own opinions, and that's okay!  In fact, it's awesome!  If we were all exactly the same, life would be pretty boring, right?  And besides, what does one have to gain from being unkind?  Nothing.

So many times, at least in my case, we get so busy fighting our own battles, that we forget that everyone, and I mean everyone, is fighting one too.  Life is easy for no one.  It's not supposed to be.  Do we become so wrapped up in our own worlds that we forget to offer the kindness that we expect and demand for ourselves to others? Are we too busy building our own world that we, maybe unintentionally, demolish someone else's?

Now, which one are you?  Which one do you want to be?

I have a challenge for you.  Find something beautiful in every day this week.  Post it on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or whatever you choose to use.  Tell someone thank you once this week and mean it.  Pay someone a sincere compliment.  Do something kind for someone, even if it's just letting them in front of you in line at the grocery store.  We can make this world better.  We can make it a more positive place where we might have joy.