Wednesday, July 23, 2014
My Letter to the Fashion Industry
Dear Fashion Industry,
Let's start with this. I love clothes. I love shoes. I love colors. I love jewelry. I love makeup. I love Project Runway more than I can say. But, in the same breath, let me tell you that I hate you.
I hate you for what you've done to me and to women all over the world.
You may be asking yourself right now, 'well, what have I done?'
You know very well what you did and what you're still doing.
Let me explain.
I am a plus sized vibrant, beautiful, colorful, fun loving, sparkly woman. I love pink and yellow and orange. I love pretty shoes. I love vintage dresses. I love anything that is sparkly. However, when I googled "plus size vintage" I found a few good websites, but more than that, I found a few really unkind ones. Ones that told me that I should wear smaller prints and darker colors because of my size. One that told me that 'full figured women' (silly fashion writers...we all know that means 'fat') should stick to flowing fabrics and long skirts. We should wear neutral colors such as black, navy, gray, black, brown, white, black and maybe the right shade of taupe because they're "slimming". We shouldn't wear horizontally situated prints like the so popular right now chevron print. Sad.
When I dug deeper and started looking for something adorable to wear to boost my self esteem a bit, I came across frumpy, tent like dresses in ugly, neutral, thrift store couch floral prints. There seemed to be quite a few solid colored pieces as well. But nothing that I fell in love with. The plus size dresses made me feel old, frumpy and sad...something that I am most definitely not.
And then, let's add my size 12 feet. I see them as a gift. If the world ever floods, I have flippers. Take that tiny feet people. However, when it comes to size 12 shoes...let's just say that those shoes would be best used in a hospital on the feet of a cranky, old cartoon style nurse that jabs you with needles or perhaps on the sloppy joe loving lunch lady portrayed by the ever funny Chris Farley.
Do I look like a lunch lady? I didn't think so. I really am more of a Carrie Bradshaw...in fashion...not life, mind you.
So, Fashion Industry, here it is. I'm beginning to think that you don't know me. That's fine, because I've decided that I don't like you. Why? Because neutral colors aren't slimming, they're boring. They don't hide the fat rolls, they hide my personality. Florals are for people who like to hang out in gardens and wear stinky perfume that smells like gardenias and baby powder. Not for me. I don't like flowing fabrics and dolman sleeves. I think they look like tents and I'm not camping. I refuse to dress like a couch or a pair of curtains. I am not a nurse or a lunch lady or an outdoor instructor. My feet may not be delicate and lady like, but I like cute shoes too. Sparkly ones. With high heels. And open toes. Ha.
You have become my arch nemesis-the Joker to my Batman. From this point on, I will hunt down every knee length, big patterned, bright colored, un-tent-like dress and I will wear them. I will wear them with shoes that match, even if I have to buy ugly ones and spray paint them sparkly silver. I will wear younger prints, colors and styles. I will avoid neutral colors at all costs, unless of course, they are merely an accent piece to whatever obnoxious style I will be wearing. And, let's be honest, there's nothing you can do about it. I don't care what you or anyone else thinks. I am a type one and I will dress like one. I will feel beautiful and vibrant. I might even wear a tutu one of these days. Ooh. Or a pretty, pink, polka dotted vintage dress with a full skirt and crinoline underneath and sparkly shoes with bows like these stunning Kate Spades...
Also, stop photo shopping everything...we're on to your game. Maybe you should stop focusing on skinny and start focusing on healthy and happy. Stop making skinny, fit girls feel fat and stop making fat girls feel super fat. It's unkind.
In closing, I think we need to end our relationship. I'll keep Project Runway and you can keep your stupid neutral colors and ugly floral prints.
It's really not me, it's you.
A Chubby Girl Who is Too Busy Loving Herself to Listen to You.