Seriously. Stop peeing on things when you're mad at me. I don't go to the bathroom on your stuff when I'm mad at you.
Please stop being so adorable. I already love you more than anything.
Stop. Existing. Right now.
Dear Dr. Pepper,
I miss you.
Dear Primary Kids,
Stop being so cute. I'm trying not to get attached to you .
Dear Orange Cat,
Please go away. I'm finding it quite hard not to adopt you, too.
Is it too much to ask that my favorite survivor win? Ever?
Dear Luke Bryan,
(just wanted to say that...)
Dear Fat Cells,
Please shrink and disappear. I hate you.
Please stop being so many calories.
Dear Yankees, (the baseball kind)
Please stop getting hurt.
Dear Football Season,
Hurry the heck up. No please about it. Just get here already!
Dear People Having Yard Sales,
Please stop selling cool junk. I already have enough...