Sunday, June 3, 2012

My friends just call me 'Killer'

Do you see this horrible creature?
Do you?
Well,let me tell you.
One of it's dirty relatives tried to KILL ME.
Worst.  Day.  Ever.

Here's how it went down.
I found it on my curtains.  I screeched.  I hollered.  I screamed and even started to cry.
(in case you didn't know, these are second only to birds on my "I'm Afraid of It!" List.)
 My husband calmly asked from the other room if I was okay...
To which I replied.....
So, he non chalantly sauntered into the kitchen to save my life
swatted at it with a hot pad.

Like that's gonna work.
He swatted at it again.
And it hid. 
Behind the stove.
On the curtain.
My knight in shining armor declared the beast to be dead and all was right with the world.
Or so we thought.
I finished the dishes and started to wipe down the stove and the fridge.
And the little beastie buzzed.
I screeched.
And tried to kill it with this.
Upon realizing that this was a non harmful cleaning product...
and noticing that it would leave spots on my curtains...
I decided to kill it with this.
I thought I had given him a good beating, but alas.
He was still breathing and buzzing.
So, using my weapon, I scooped him into the sink.
And drowned him.
And now, instead of this ferocious beastie that tried to kill me,
you have this.
A little, teeny coffin for a ferocious beast of a wasp.
And I'm still alive.

1 comment:

Rachel said...

Wow. You have quite a wasp killing arsenal. Thank goodness killer wasps can't swim. For a second I thought I was going to read about how it did the back stroke while giving you an evil grin right before he made another attempt on your life. So glad you're alive to write this account...and make me laugh once again. Long live the wasp killer!! :)