Friday, July 27, 2012

Midnight Musings

Right now, I am feeling so very grateful that I have a Heavenly Father that loves me and knows me.  I don't know why, but I feel impressed to share with you that I know He lives.  I know He loves me.  I know that He has given me certain tests and trials for my growth and to help me become perfected.  I often find myself grumbling about my trials and my situation in life.  Perhaps, I need to stop grumbling and find a better use of my time.  Maybe I need to try harder to be an answer to someone's prayer or to let them be an answer to mine.
I'll admit.  I've spent most of my life as a sheep.  Never questioning, never doubting, always following.  I've never been the lost sheep.  Never.  My Shepherd has no reason to come looking for me.  I'm following and doing what I'm supposed to do for the most part.  Sure, I stray now and then, but not for long and not far.  Then, I hop right back in line and follow along.  It seems that the harder I try...the harder it is to be faithful.  Or at least that used to be the case.
Lately, I am finding that it's becoming easier.  No, my life is not always exciting.  No, I don't travel much, because I have a job to do every Sunday.  Yes, I do have to always watch myself and my behavior because I would never want my Primary kids to see me misrepresent my Savior. Yes.  I do want to experience life.  Yes, sometimes I want to punch people in the mouth.  Yes, I do want to get a tattoo.  But I'm not going to. Do you know why?  Because,'s okay just to be good.
I like my simple rut.  It's safe in the fold.  It's safe to look to my Savior and my Heavenly Father for guidance.  It's not always a lightning bolt, but more like a warm blanket.  They look out for me.  They put me in the right places at the right times.  I just have to figure out where I will be of the most use in those places and times.
I have recently discovered the way to love as the Savior would love - without bias.  I can see my Primary kids as He would.  I'm not a mother.  I probably never will be.  But because my Savior and my Heavenly Father love me, they've allowed me to have children that I can love and teach and learn from and care for and for that, I am eternally grateful.  I often tell them that I love them more than cupcakes and if I can love them that much, just imagine how much their Savior loves them.
I am grateful for the love that I feel today and that I can be of use to them in some capacity.
The best I can do right now is leave you with this video.  I have always loved this song.

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